Item #: SCP-096-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-096-J is to be kept in a McDonalds restaurant and to be fed 500 Bic Macs a day. If one does not feed SCP-096-J, it will attack them and nom on them until they die.
Description: SCP-096-J is an extremely fat, and is from a McDonalds restaurant, where it nommed on everyone and took their cheeseburgers to nom on. SCP-096-J's face is very pudgy, and represents Buddha from Chinese Myth. When someone sees its face, it becomes enraged and shoots Big Macs from its [REDACTED] and instantly kills anyone who is in the way.
If one is in a cheeseburger costume, then SCP-096-J will fall in love with that person, and eat him/her. Once SCP-096-J is finished with the "noming" process, then it will become a giant creature of notable proportion. When its transformation is complete, it will destroy the world. It is recommended that no one is to dress up as a cheeseburger anymore, as we had too much trouble last time.
Audio Log | Portion recorded from Appendum 096-J-A
Dr. *****: Okay, D-5028. Please approach the desk containing the objects.
D-5028: Uh... Okay.
D-5028 approaches the desk with the objects needed for the test, and picks up the bag of things.
Dr. *****: Please pull out each object according to placement.
D-5028 takes out a Big Mac from McDonalds
D-5028: Oh? Is this for me?
Dr. *****: Sort of. Continue searching.
D-5028 takes out a folder
D-5028: Uh... There's a picture of... Buddha, it looks like. And there's this huge beer gut on him. What's up with that?
Dr. *****: Proceed searching/
The alarm sounds and it is confirmed that SCP-096-J has escaped McDonalds
Dr. *****: Thank you for your time. Please remain in the area, and do not leave.
SCP-096-J: YOU SAW MY FACE! GIMME MY BIG MAC!
D-5028: NO! This is my Big Mac!
SCP-096-J screams and starts shooting Big Macs from its [REDACTED] at D-5028
D-5028: What the...? MY SKIN! IT BURNS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
D-5028 is confirmed dead
SCP-096-J: Ah, free lunch.
SCP-096-J eats D-5028 until there is nothing left. Hours later, the Mobile Task Force arrives to retrieve SCP-096-J and put it back in its McDonalds Restaurant